Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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