They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
