You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
