hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
