We won't sleep together?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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