I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
