We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
