Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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