Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
