So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
