I hate your face
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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