she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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