Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So much Jack, so little girl.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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