Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
