A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I could fuck to npr.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
dude. I can hear the air.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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