So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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