I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
