in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
