I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
