Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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