Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
