12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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