he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize