he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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