I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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