mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
