You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
