kristin has been a bad kristin
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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