He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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