would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
