your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize