apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize