sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
