So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
