He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
