Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
