He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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