Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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