There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
