She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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