I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
