Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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