I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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