I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So apparently I’m into choking now
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
