How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
