I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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