So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
