R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The best revenge is premature balding
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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