Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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