I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
