I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
