Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
