can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
