did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize