I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
