Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
