Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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