yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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